Le Stef jokes and puns

Some people are hilarious. This is one of them.

Warhammer Roleplay
Rules of Stef: Puns of Stef: Funny situations: SSS (Shit Stef Says):
 * 1) Stef dies. Always. In the end he always dies.
 * 2) A standard Stef monster has strength 9, toughness 9,  is made of warpstone, can cast magic and many other things.
 * 3) Chaos dwarves are incredibly sneaky. Those tusks can EASILY be hidden in a beard.
 * 4) Same goes for hellcannons. Put a piece of cloth on that shizz and it is practically invisible.
 * 5) He is five, five is he. Any roll of five, in any roleplay hits the Stef.
 * 6) His butt attracts bullets.
 * 7) You can't be batman. And you can't be the joker.
 * 8) Stop smoking those pussy cats!
 * 1) Stef returns to the room after talking with GM in the kitchen. He sits down, grinning and puttings his fingers together. Oli looks at him, "Are you a necromancer again?" Stef instantly going "Nooo" his eyes flicking.
 * 1) "Pound it like you pound your mother"
 * 2) "Pls mom" and the longer version, "Pls mom pls. Mom pls. Mom mom. Pls mom pls."
 * 3) "Sigh ... "
 * GM: "You see a trade caravan" Stef: "Do they sell stuff?"
 * 1) After getting the arcane mark Clammy Skin: Lau: "Ew now the whores will be more expensive.." Stef: "No no. I don't scare animals away."
 * 2) Stef talking about Johanne von Viguan: "Vamling. Like manling, but for women." (Vammel is a danish adjective that means uncomfortably sweet, heavy or greasy, commonly used to describe smell, taste and similar.)
 * 3) "No one knows how sad I am"
 * 4) "Human politics is like a huge human centipede."
 * 5) "Kødvæltning" (AmaCon2019)
 * 6)  "Forest for fucks" "Fucks are for forests"

Exalted 2ed

 * 1) "Man kan købe et menneske der hedder concubine" ("You can buy a human called concubine"). Lolwut.
 * 2) Arriving in Sharktooth after a long journey at sea "I go buy a steak!"
 * 3) "Jeg kan holde mig vågen i en uge!" ("I can stay up for a week!")
 * 4) "Ryan is totally an asian name"
 * 5) After being hit by an attack: "I've been burned more by... women."